Hunting for a Miracle

I am so tired right now. -__-

So yesterday I went to the beach with some friends. It was a lot of fun :) I'm red now, not going to lie. Totally jinxed myself, kinda mad about that, but it was so worth it. The water was ICE cold ! I can't wait to go again! 

Today I worked all day. My usual sundays :-\. It's worth it. I'm getting money :) 

Prom is on thursday. I think that I am getting more and more excited! I can't wait to see how good everyone is going to look. There is still a lot that I have to do though. :-| 

I hate when you finally see people's true color. :-\ It hurts but that's life, right? The point is one can only do so much. I don't know how much more someone could do I guess? I try. Probably will keep trying I guess. 

PROM IS IN 4 DAYS ! :) WOOHOOO

Fake

People's attitudes piss me off.  Mad fake? Yeah, tell me about it. 

Part of me really can't wait to get out of here. 

Part of me really doesn't want to leave. 

Don't say something if you don't mean it. Point Blank. 

Whatever -__-

Woooo Hoooo !

SO...

I am in web design class right now. Doing absolutely nothing as we usually do in this extremely productive class! Yippee !

I just recruited my good friend sharon to make a blog :) She is excited about it. Lol, it's cute.

I didn't know about TUMBLR! What the hell! There is another online blogging community and I didn't know ! That crazy banannas. But cool. Aylen has one. It's the same, but not bloger? Lmao, I don't know.

Hmmm, last night I got like, 12 hours of sleep. Knock out around 7. I woke up this morning in the best mood of my life ! Gosh, what sleep may do to a person! I cought up on about, a week and a half of sleep! Yay for me!

Blah, although I am in a good mood, there are some people that just piss me off. -__- how about GO AWAY! :)

That'll do!


PROM IS IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK!<3

S&S

Oh Boy...

Man, what days I have had recently. The crazy part is that I am happier than ever!

Sunday and Monday all I did was work. Freaking 10 hours of work! Ugh, I am still suffering from last week and I have been working and going kinda crazy! -__-
Yesterday I had school -___-. After that I went to work. Then, there was the sports awards dinner. -________- My God was I pissed off! Mainly due to the fact that certain people who won awards really didn't deserve them. Then again, that's life.

Today, I decided to take off from work. Besides the fact that I am literally physically exhausted, I need to finish up a major project or else I'll probably fail. SMH at my own procrastination. But it's almost done, so I am happy.

People, some people, suck. I sat on the phone with a friend till about 2 AM discussing about how one should act upon certain things. The trial and tribulation that people go through suck, big time. But only the strong people who come out of those situations with a smile.

I don't hold any negative feelings towards anyone. It's no use in feeling bad towards someone because in the end, it doesn't affect their life. It doesn't matter to them if you succeed or fail.

I don't know, I just do what's best for me now. I try not to care what other people think. If there is something that I have learned this whole year from someone it's just to be indifferent. I'm not going to care what anyone thinks. I am going to do what I think is best for me.

I am in the process of trying to register for my classes in the Fall. The process is ridiculous -_-

What a Day

What great days I have had :)

Yesterday I took my AP LIT test. It was easy peasy ! Long though. And I hated my second proctor. -__- Stupid person. Lol, overall it was good :) After that I went to work and suffered for 4 hours. Oh well, I spent time with a friend and got money while doing it :) I slept over the wife's house as well. Went to See Terminator. It was GREAT! I loved it. extremely good. I recommend it to everyone! Star Trek was better though<3

So today was crazy. My circle of friends and I went to Central Park to have a picnic for Mikey's b-day. Oh yeah! lol. We played football. It has been established that I CANNOT throw/catch a foot ball for the life of me! There was about, 2 times where I caught it, but then I slipped and feel on the wet grass ! SMH. I am never going to wear vans to play ever again. Lol, it was so a lot of fun none the less. 

On another note, my dress came in ! OMG ! It's so PERFECTLY AMAZING<3>

10 DAYS TILL PROM<3

Life is just so perfect<3>

s&s

Laugh A Little

So I'm not going to lie, I woke up pretty mad this morning. It's not because of anything out of the ordinary, same stuff over and over. 

I honestly can't help but laugh. I laugh due to the simple fact that when I write here, on my blog, yes though it might be public nothing is really towards a specific person. It's all mostly general statements which i feel should be addressed somewhere or else I will be like most other people. Angry and bitter. So why not write it, vent, and get rid of it?

It's funny because, to the IMPORTANT people in my life, I will take out the time and tell you to your face.  With no problem.  To the people that I VALUE I will give you the time of day. Other than that, yeah I will rather address it here. Those people are that important to me can read this if they want to know what is going on in my life. 

It's these stupid petty things that happen that I find humor. I don't really care if that is mean? Or not. The fact is that I will take out the time and talk to you, if I feel that you are important. 

This is going to be a long day -__- 

I knew everything was going way to smoothly. 

_________________________________

Edit

So this day really did turn out to be good! 

Everything is done and squashed, so I am happy. I went to school, cut AP right before the test, that's bad. Lol, whatever. School went smoothly. It's Mikey's b-day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUGAR<3

After that, I went to work for a while. It was so boring and long. I hate working. BURNOUT (thanks Gildea). I left work at 5, mad late for no reason. After I went to lunch/dinner with my friend. It was a lot of fun.  After that I went to see Yan at work :) It was for like 5 minutes. That sucked -__- Oh well, he owes me now :) hehe 

I can't wait for this weekend. It's going to be GREAT :) 

No More Mr. Nice Guy

I feel like complaining today. About a lot of bull that has been surrounding me for a little while. 

I am tired of being nice all the freaking time! I just want to be able to tell someone off and not feel badly about it now! I mean, yeah, I can do that, but I usually formulate my words so they don't hurt as badly. But no! I just want to hurt someone's feelings right now. I need to change. Stop being so God damn nice to people. Watch, I am not going to curve my tongue anymore! I am so tired of being the nice one. 

WHY DO THINGS HAPPEN WHEN IT'S NOT EXPECTED!? I hate it. I always get like this too. Like when something is thrown my way, I don't want it. I want to fight it and not accept it. I have to stop doing that as well. I am just going to end up hurting someone, or myself. (There goes the niceness to me)

What ever happened to live and let live? If someone is happy, why can't that person simply be happy with out 99 questions and then some? -_-

No one knows me better than I know myself. That is the KEY thing here. NO one knows me better than I do. Don't tell me how I feel. Don't tell me what I think. You can make your assumptions. I don't live to satisfy the questions of others. I don't live to prove others wrong. I live for me! Get off my back! 

It's time to cut certain people out of my life indefinitely. I am tired of having these sand bag people who weigh me down and just make my feel like crap. I think that I am going to cut off all of the unnecessary  people out, like, now! 

Anyway, I am finished complaining about the little things that get me mad. Lol. This week has so far proven to be a REALLY long week.   So Sunday was the AIDS walk as I spoke about in a previous posting. I found out that one of my really close friends was there, about 5 minutes behind me. THE WHOLE TIME! I was so mad when I called him. -_- smh. 

Monday was school and work and then Austin street with Yan. Mad long day too ! -__- 

Tuesday was "school" work and then the Yankee Game ! 6-1 :) I was happy.

Today was school and doctors appointment and school and dress shopping and more shopping and food and more shopping and home and cleaning and then half of the game at Yan's house. 

Tomorrow feels like it is going to be another long ass day. Friday is my AP test -_-.

I can't wait until this week is over. 

I am starting to wish that the summer will get here faster too. 

-----

You know, there is no use in feeding into other people's opinions. There is no use in trying to prove people wrong. 

Think what you want because guess what? I am going to live. People are so quick to judge. So quick to think twice on the intentions of others. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Point black. No one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws. Why pass judgment because if you look in a mirror, there are going to be stains. 

Turn the Pages..

I always flip through the paper to see what's happening in the world. Usually skimming articles and seeing the cold cruel world in action. I always come about pages where someone passes away.  Maybe a murder or something else. I always say "I feel so bad" but then I turn the page and forget all about it. Now I can't help but wonder why it's so easy to accept it.

I never thought that it could happen to someone that I know. I never thought that it would be on the front page. Maybe that's what makes it all the worse. 

Even if you're not that close to the person, the fact that you know them. The fact that you don't want people to feel that pain.   

I feel horrible. To much tragedy has happened over the past 2 weeks and I don't know what to say. 

Now I can't just flip the page in the paper. 

Only In Dreams

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. 

I can't believe that it's all coming to an end. It seems like most of my posts have been about this. Well, it has to do with part of my weekend. Allow me to elaborate.

Friday I was out with a few friends. It was fun as it always is. Got stopped by the cops though. Lmao, that was NOT so fun. Yan and Arsen always look suspicious. Lol :) 

Saturday was my NYU Graduation. I thought that it was going to be nothing, but it turned out to be a lot more than just something. I never really though about that program really having a big impact on me, yet it did. I met some pretty amazing people, including one of my best friends Kishin. I was tearing. My mom was crying. That's like my mini grad. Imagine my actual graduation. :( After the graduation I met up with my friends and we chilled in TS. It was fun.

Today felt like 2 days in one! I woke up at 7 ! (thanks yan -__-) to go to the AIDS walk. It was amazing ! 6.2 miles ! i thought my knee was going to pop ! But I am so happy that I went. It was a great time, even though me and 3 friends got separated from my school. :) After I simply worked, and hung out with a friend. Good times are here to stay. 

I always thought that memories would be my nightmares. Now I realized that I can makes BETTER memories in the same places. Time heals all pain, and moving on is a healing process. I feel light. The lightness of being is great at the moment. I love it. 

At the same time, I really don't know how to feel about certain things. I don't know to be happy or sad or angry. Ugh.

Today I learned that we ALL have to live each day as if it were our last.  There can't be any regrets. Tell the ones you love that you love them. Don't hate people either.  We don't know when our last day is. It could be tomorrow or the next day. Life is SO short, you can't take anyone for granted. Thats why you should always let someone know how you feel about them. Give roses to the living, not the dead. Cherish the time you have with the people you love when you're in their presence ! Don't wait, because then it's to late. 

Twists and Turns

So these past few days have proven to be unexpected. It's not the bad unexpected, but it's the REALLY good kind! It made me happy. Did that little Prom switch-a-roo ! But it is so great ! Ahh man !

There are many things that I don't believe in. There are so many things that people do in life that hurt others. I really don't want to be that type of person. I think that's my one fear. Hurting someone else and then not being able to do anything about it. I mean, I have done it to someone before. Someone that means a lot to me. But I regret that, more than anything in the world. I wish that I could go back and change what I did. I can't do that though. I would love to, but I can't. I have done all that I can to gain trust from that one person back, it's a slow process. Eh, you can't cry over spilled milk, right? I just have to try and NEVER do that again, to anyone.

Lately it seems that things have been going so great. There have been days where it's hard, I guess. There have been times where I just feel down. But see, that's what friends are for! I always say this, but I really do have the most amazing friends in the world. I can't ask for much more.

My best friend (Casie) is incredible. She is so unbelievable it amazes me. Her kind heart and extreme truthfulness is great. I love her to death, and I am going to miss her SO much when she leaves. I think that is going to be the hardest goodbye for me.

My WIFE* (Sofia) is also so amazing. She and I have been through so much over these past 9 years, it's incredible. I love her so much, and a lot of the time I would be so lost and completely uptight if it wasn't for her. She means the world to me.

There are SO many people that mean a lot to me. I never thought that I would ever get this attached to a group of people. It's so hard and it's going to be so hard to say goodbye to all of them. Ah man, this is going to be the BEST and WORST summer of my life. The summer is going to be so epic and amazing. I can't wait.

I don't get the fact that some people aren't going to care about leaving their friends. I can't understand the fact that school is coming to a close and some people are so non chalant about it !

I thought that I was going to be okay with it, and I thought that I was ready, but I am not! I am NO WHERE NEAR READY TO LEAVE ! Ugh, I don't want to go anymore! :(

I am going to enjoy what I really want to be an epic summer. I really want everyone to have the time of their lives, not only me. I can't wait for everything to start !

PROM IS IN 21 DAYS ! :) S&S<3

Wowie

Wow, what a night! Some people were missing :( but over all it was great, like always. Kinda slow at start but good none the less. 

I hate Time Square. It's always packed and it's just annoying. Another reason why I hate it is because there was this dude trying to STAB this other guy who "disrespected" him. The trials of being a "New York Killer" as that guy proclaimed. It was sorta scary, seeing that he was walking RIGHT behind Yan and I with his knife. But then again, he is an idiot if he were to stab anyone in the middle of CROWDED Time Square, where cops are everywhere in site! So that made it amusing to me. Besides that whole ordeal, the night was great. Sitting on the red step in TS was the best part I think. Relaxing in the ambiance.  It was great. Getting home at 2 AM... not so much. Lol.

I realized that you can run from people. You can run from emotions. But you can't run from memories. Those are the things that may induce euphoric moments, or moments that make you want to crawl into a hole and sleep, forever. No matter how far you've moved passed something. And no matter how much all feelings are lost, it's what lies in those memories that make you feel.   And then you think about the pain of the person who those memories belong to as well, and you move on. There is no reason to dwell on what's is not cared about anymore. 

As a whole the night was GREAT. There wasn't much more that I could ask for. 

24 DAYS TILL PROM BABYY ! :) 

Volcon

So yesterday I saw Star Trek. It was AMAZING<3 I definatly want to see it again :)
Yes, I am a nerd on the inside, so shush ! :)

Anyways, I am really getting tired of people and their attitudes. I hate the high and mighty attitude and what not. It pisses me off. I hate the "I don't give a shit about anyone but me" attitude. I hate when people are so close minded. I hate when people think that they know how I am feeling.

I thing that it's time for a change. I think that I have been changing with certain people. I love it :) I love the feeling of not giving a shit. If one thing good came out of this year, it is my ability to not give a shit about certain people and certain things that have happened in my life.

This post is not an anger post. I don't hold anger towards people anymore. It's useless to care about people who don't care about you. It's useless to care about people that don't even seem as if they care. So I say ney to you negative thinkers and negative doers ! :)

I love life. I love my friends. Things are soo perfect right now. I love it :)

PROM IS IN 25 DAYS BABYYY ! wooo I can't WAIT ! :D

Amazing

So I had the BEST two days. Well, the best two night. Friday night we went to see Wolverine. It was great. Hugh Jackman is my future husband. Lol. Saturday night we went out to these docks out in LIC, my God it was amazing! All you see is the NYC Skylight. It was gorgeous. Breath taking. I absolutely LOVE it out there :) 

I was with the majority of my friends. Acting like idiots in the middle of LIC. That's the best feeling in the world. The ability to act like a jerk with the people that you love the most and not care at all. I needed those two days. I really did. 

You are really nothing with out your friends. It's great 

There is ONE MONTH AND ONE DAY LEFT TILL PROM AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS FREAKING SIKED ! Lol. It's going to the the BEST night of my life and I can't wait for it to come!  But then again I can wait. It's June 4th ! and that would  mean that I have a lot less time to be with my friends ! :( 

Arghs the turns and trials of life :( 

But I am still very very happy. I am so loving life and everything that it has to offer :)