Unspeakable truths

It's inevitable that people will eventually go their separate ways, but I can't seem to understand why people drift away. I am very pensive right now, as to why certain things go as they do. It irks me and fogs my mind. Yes, I am the type of person who hates not knowing what is coming. I hate the reality of the future being unmarked and unclear. I don't believe in fortune tellers or anything like that, but I hate not knowing the future, going into something blindly.


Recently, the possibility of knowing that I might lose someone that I love, like friends, kills me. It's that slow, piercing pain straight through my chest and splitting through my back. I have but so many good people in my life. Losing those few would be a blow to me. Right now, I want to scream on the top of my lungs right outside this house. I want to fly to some foreign land where I know no one. Sometimes life is easier being alone. The Unbearable Lightness of Being.


I'll probably write later, something more uplifting? I surly hope so. Until then.
_______________

I'm about an inch away from giving up on a lot of things. To bad there are certain people in my life preventing me from doing so.

Today turned out to be freaking terrible for some news I found out. Shook my world and tore it apart. In a matter of 30 second and 7 words, everything just fell apart. I fell apart. I'm still not all here. Physically I am here, and what not. Mentally, I am wondering in some distant place. Hm, maybe i am becoming some what numb to the world. Maybe I like it in some twisted way. This way I feel no pain or emotion. But then again my day wasn't all that terrible.

I just so happen to be with the one person that sees through my fake smiles and laughs and gets down to the essence of me. That's what I love about him the most. Even when I am at the worst of my worst, he makes me smile, a real smile. He was the best part of my day.

As soon as my day gets better, the WWW takes my happiness and shoves it down the toilet. I'm forever burdened with her words and thoughts about me.

What do I say now? Fuck it.