The "Talk"

Okay, so I really wasn't planing on blogging today at all. I haven't really felt inspired enough to blog, until now.

I met my cousin last summer around this time. Her name is Jasmine and she is 15, about to be 16 in september. She is really smart and pretty, the whole 9 yards. Now, I am not to sure she has a lot of older cousins out there but she turned to me, possibly indirectly, but to me none the less. Now, I have never experienced this before, being that I am the youngest out of my cousins in older than 11. I am not to sure on how the topic of sex came up, but it did. Now, I understand that there isn't a huge gap in our age, I am 18, she is going to be 16, but I still see her as really young. The questions like "how old were you?", "did it hurt?" and other things came about, and the one thing that perplexed me the most was "should I lie, or tell the truth?". Now, she is young! And I wish that I had someone close to my age that I could talk to like that when I was 15. So I stared at the text message, wondering what is it that I should go through with. Still uncertain, I thought within myself "what is it that I would have wanted? The truth, or a lie?". I told her the truth, about it all. I figured that she needed to hear it, and I would have wanted it that way anyway. So now, I basically told her my "story" and how everything unraveled. It went pretty smoothly I might add. I give it up to all those parents who do that. It makes me feel really special though, that I was able to share that with her. It also made me realize how much I miss her and want to go to cali. I should try and go out there before the summer is over. Maybe for a few days. I need the vacation anyway!

On to a less interesting topic, my past two days weren't that incredible or amazing. I worked 8 hours yesterday, and went out to dinner. I tell you, Captain Mai Tais are AMAZING<3. I like red wine too, I don't know why, but the flavor is really good. Anyways, I actually got really sick from something that I ate, and ended up being sick for the rest of the night and on to this morning. Regaurdless of my illness, I woke up and went to work. It's funny, if I don't eat, I am fine, yet if I eat anything, I feel sick again. :( It sucks. I went to see a movie after work. The Ugly Truth for the second time. It was funnier the second time as well, lol.

I have some other things on my mind tonight. Why some people decide to act certain ways. Why people chose to me immature about things. Why some people feel the need to be intoxicated. All things that I am thinking about. Why I can't get this one person out of my head. Why I like having this person on my mind at all times. Why I am allowing myself to give in to certain unattainable highs in which I will soon crash from. And wondering if I am really feeling, what I think I am feeling, in which these feelings are some serious feeling! Ah. All things that are passing through my mind. My laziness is prevailing though, as my hands slowly being to type slower, and slower. My eye lids are getting heavier as well. That's a sign, I may need some sleep, lol.

Goodnight.

I just want to run into your arms and kiss you in the pouring rain :( Is that so much to ask ?