Drained

I am so drained right now, I don't even know why. I accidentally slept through my first class O_O, but I can just get the notes from someone in my class. I woke up at 9:25 for my next, 9:30 test. I ran out of my dorm, forgot my keys and everything! The test was pretty good, took me about 25 minutes. It was really simple.

Have you ever felt as if you need to impress someone? Not just impress with the way you dress, but with everything else in between. I feel like I have to be everything and more, as if I have to try and be better than the best. Gr, I hate having to compete with other, some others that I don't even know. It sucks so badly.

So lately I have really been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am seriously thinking about going into writing. I have always loved it, I might as well make it my profession, right? The one thing that I need to do is get my confidence up. I really need to work on my writing as well, I'm slacking. I am going to join The Ink Club on campus. This should get my to stop being so shy when I come to my writing and such. I hope that it works and that it will help me. I really do spend half of my days writing. I feel like it's to repetitive though.

A small part of me still doesn't believe that I am here for school. I keep thinking that I am going back really soon and such. Then I remember that I am here till November 24th! It's not a terrible thing, but I would like to see some people.

I just realized that I am not "living up" my college life. I mean, I really don't like to go out and party all the time. To me it's not necessary, and most of the parties that I have gone to are people standing and getting wasted. To me, that stuff is just mundane and repetitive. I guess that I am the odd one out? I have no idea. To me, the idea of needing to go out and do certain things. Maybe this is why I feel like I should be doing a lot more, and being better? Competition sucks ass.