3 months

I wrote this on Tuesday, while I was on the train... Just forgot to post it :


I have never been the type to have a high confidence in things. I tend not to want things to much, just for the fact that usually good things don't happen to me; if they do happen, then they usually end up breaking, or leaving.

I am trying to do things for me; I trying to do things that I want more than anything. Some things are going to be REALLY hard, but for once, I am really willing to take them on, and just do it. I know the type of person I am: very emotional, very attached to those who are close because I don't trust anyone, I am scared of things that I don't know, and I fear a challenge that may affect my everyday life. I am so scared of losing those people whom are close to me and I fear letting other people in. These are some of the things that I pray I can get over, soon. It's going to be hard, but I am going to put in 150% and more just to get it.

I am not mad or sad or anything right now, lol. I am just tired, really tired. Today I left buffalo for the first time since August. I am on my way home! I am really ... nervous for the outcome. I don't know how much people have changed, and I don't know how much I have changed. It's been exactly 3 months since I have been in my beloved New York City, living a life that I thought was untouched and a life that could never be changed. Spending time with the people whom I hold close to my heart, and now, I have to start all of it over. I have to become reacquainted to the people, and to the city, my city. I really do wonder how different it is going to be.

I am really happy about the real friends that I have back home/scattered other places, the new, amazing ones that I met at school, and the friendships and bonds that I haven't made just yet.

Anyways, I had the craziest night/morning! Jelly and I decided to pull an all nighter. We figured that since we both had a LONG ways home, we should just party it up all night! That lasted till about 6 am. I ended up falling asleep until 6:50 for my 7:18 train! My friend Omar ended up driving me, going about 90 on the high way! It was crazy. Thank God I made it to the train. I left Albany about 20 minutes ago, so I don't know how much longer this is going to take me. Lets just see.

"We'll run until we're strong enough to jump"