Question Existing

Stress sucks. Anxiety sucks even worse. Life moves on, right?

I hate that when I have a good couple days, I get hit with a crappy ass day. Like the day where EVERYTHING seems to go wrong. This is why I wait for these days, and prepare myself for them! Nothing always stays good, that's something that I have definitely learned. But, oh well, right?

I am thinking about transferring to a University. I like it here, but it doesn't offer what I need. I just really don't want to have to pay the huge sums of money. It's so expensive to get a good education, and it pisses me off! I don't mind working hard to get good grades to transfer, but I do mind having to pay 2 and a half times more than what I am paying now.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO EXPENSIVE?! -__-

I really want this. It's not for the reasons that people will think. But for once I really want to do this, but I have a feeling, I am not going to be allowed to do it. Come to thinking about it, I don't even know if i will be able to do it at all.

There are so many people back home striving for me. Literally, riding on my every move. It's hard to do things with so many people going for me. Some more than other, and pushing me in negative ways. It just makes me think about things. Where I want to be. Who I want to be. What I want to do. Who I want to be with. Everyone wants a say. I know that I am going to do what I want to do, but at the same times, all of these people are in the back of my mind. I keep thinking "who am I going to let down next?"